Where did she go?

Where did she go?

I can’t seem to find her.

There was a time when you couldn’t shut her up.

Through her voice and her writing she spoke her mind.

She told people about the love of Jesus.

She taught them to pray.

A new friend.

A college roommate.

A total stranger.

She spoke with confidence and love.

Where did she go?

What silenced her?

Was it something big?

Or small comments that chipped away?

Too many dismissals?

Her opinion not taken seriously?

Another idea turned down for what?

Not one to speak up unless she has something important to contribute.

Then unable to get a word in among the louder, more senior voices.

So, she stopped speaking up completely.

Quick to recognize and praise her humor but not her professional contributions.

Where did she go?

Her confidence is shattered.

Her voice is silent.

Motherhood is not to blame.

If anything, being a mom gave her a purpose.

And reminds her, she’s not silent all the time.

She talks to anyone who listens when it comes to galactosemia and rare disease.

She speaks up for her girls.

She uses her words to fight for their future.

Where did she go?

Was it her own health challenges that silenced her?

First the terrifying spells with no name only referred to as “weird feelings.”

Then a diagnosis: epilepsy.

Scared to be home alone but also scared to go anywhere in public for fear of embarrassment.

Impossible to imagine living on her own, holding down a job or having a family.

When she gave up her driver’s license, did she also give up her hopes for the future?

Years of uncontrolled seizures, medicines, weight gain and other side effects.

Is this where her confidence started to die?

Where did she go?

But then there was hope, brain surgery was a success and recovery went well.

Seizures were gone.

She began to drive, found a job and eventually moved to a new city.

Doubts resurfaced but she persevered.

Then her broken brain returned, and she retreated.

Afraid to be alone, afraid to drive.

She knew this life once before, she could not go back again.

She sat across from a therapist trying to work through her despair.

She grew angry as her therapist continued asking “and then what?” as they dove deeper into her fears and the tears flowed.

And in the end, a revelation.

As scared as she was to live, she was more scared to die.

A breakthrough and with it, the arrival of hope.

Another successful brain surgery. Another recovery.

Where did she go?

A return to her job and the real world.

But after each battle she returned a little less confident.

Side effects like poor short-term memory remained.

Fears continued…would it happen again?

And what if it was worse. Then what?

Her broken brain did reappear, this time with complex migraines.

Followed by other health challenges.

She retreats again and silences her ambitions.

Life’s no longer about thriving, she’s merely surviving.

Where did she go?

She has so much to contribute, if only given the chance.

At least she thinks so. It might be too late.

She’s been quiet for so long.

There’s no confidence to be found.

There’s no reason to speak up when no one listens.

Why continue to contribute when no one sees her value.

She’s exhausted.

But it’s time to decide.

Does she remain silent?

Or does she fight to find her voice?

It’s been a lot, no one would blame her for giving up.

And she thought she had.

Until…lately a spark seems to have relit inside her.

It’s growing bigger and it’s getting brighter.

Reminding her she’s made for more.

It’s time to return to thriving.

Can she prove to a world that’s tried to silence her, that she has something important to say?

Turns out she was never gone, she just let life temporarily quiet her.

Look out, because she’s coming back.

Brighter, Louder, Bolder.

To be continued…